Category: Communication & Conflict

When one partner shuts down in the middle of a fight, the other almost always reads it the same way: they don’t care. That’s the wrong read — and it’s the reason the fight keeps getting worse. Going silent in the middle of an argument has a name: stonewalling. And once you understand what’s actually…

Love is a beautiful thing– until you’re in the middle of a screaming match with your spouse. Suddenly, all of your worst qualities seem to come out and your temper takes center stage. The good news is that you don’t have to let those moments of anger and frustration define your relationship. By learning how…

Are you feeling stuck in a never-ending cycle of fighting with your spouse? Is it getting harder and harder to have even simple conversations without escalating into bickering or full-blown arguments? Learn how to stop the constant cycle of fighting in your relationship and have a productive conversation again.

Tired of having the same fight with your spouse over and over again? Try these tips to end the cycle of perpetual conflict. Hi! I’m Valery, and I’m a couples therapist and marriage counselor in Evergreen, Colorado.  I help couples stop fighting and start communicating.  Did you know that over two-thirds of all fighting in…

If you struggle with defensiveness in your relationship, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most common communication challenges facing high-conflict couples. Here are my top 3 tips for solving this problem. Hi! I’m Valery, and I’m a couples therapist and marriage counselor in Evergreen, Colorado.  I help couples stop fighting and start communicating.  Defensiveness…

Defensiveness kills communication. But, it’s hard to stop being defensive if you don’t know how to spot it. Hi! I’m Valery, and I’m a couples therapist and marriage counselor in Evergreen, Colorado.  I help couples stop fighting and start communicating.  Defensiveness is a pretty common experience for couples who struggle with conflict and communication. The…

Defensiveness is a communications killer. If you want to stop fighting in your relationship, you have to stop being defensive. Hi! I’m Valery, and I’m a couples therapist and marriage counselor in Colorado.  I help couples stop fighting and start communicating.  If you’ve ever gotten into an argument with your partner, you’ve probably felt defensive…

As a couples counselor, I often help the couples in my office learn new ways to communicate.  One of the most common communication problems couples struggle with is criticism. Too often, couples find themselves stuck in a cycle of criticism and defensiveness, and they struggle to break free.  Criticism is a negative or hostile statement…

Most of the couples I see for couples therapy tell me that the biggest challenge in their relationship is communication, and when I ask couples what they’d like to get out of couples counseling, they almost always tell me that they’d like to improve their communication skills.   These couples understand that how you talk to…

Fighting fair means knowing when to take a break during an argument. But taking a break when you’re in the middle of a fight can be tough.  Like most marriage advice, taking a break during an argument is often easier said than done.  Many of the couples I see in my office tell me that…