Is Couples Counseling Worth It?
If you're struggling in your relationship, you've probably thought about couples counseling. But you've also probably wondered is couples counseling worth it? And, does couples counseling actually work?
Hi! I’m Valery, and I’m a couples therapist and marriage counselor in Evergreen, Colorado. I help couples stop fighting and start communicating.
If you’re struggling in your relationship or considering couples counseling, you’re probably weighing the pros and cons of working with a couples therapist. Maybe you're wondering if couple's therapy can actually work for you? Or perhaps you're trying to convince your partner to try couple's therapy for the first time.
Couples therapy is a big commitment, and it’s okay to have questions and concerns before getting started.
In this blog I'm going to answer three of the most common questions that I get about couples therapy. (If you’d like a preview of the process itself, here’s what to expect from couples counseling.)
How does couples therapy work?
At its heart couple's therapy works to help you and your partner resolve the conflicts in your relationship and strengthen your bond. While every therapist has a different style and a different approach, good couples therapy will help you feel more confident about yourself and your relationship skills. It will help you improve your communication skills and create a deeper understanding of yourself, your partner, and your marriage.
Couples therapy can help you solve specific problems, like how to cope with the challenges of becoming new parents, or overcome more general issues like problems communicating with your spouse or compromising. Couples therapy can also help you work through difficult moments from the past (such as infidelity or trauma), and it can also help you cope with the impact of depression, anxiety, trauma, or ADHD on your relationship.
Ultimately, your couple's therapist should help you develop the skills and tools that you need to build a better relationship.
Is couples therapy worth it?
Absolutely! Couples therapy is worth it. Research shows that, by and large, couples therapy is effective. Regardless of what happens in your relationship, at the end of couples therapy, most folks report feeling better.
However, couples therapy is most effective when you work with a therapist who specializes in working with couples and who has a strong relationship and a strong bond with you.
If you’re considering couples counseling, it’s important to find a couples therapist who is right for you. Not all therapists are the same, and it’s important to find a couples therapist that has experience working with couples who are struggling with problems and concerns similar to the problems and concerns in your marriage.
Is couples therapy worth the money?
It’s a fair question. Couples therapy is an investment, and I’d never pretend otherwise.
But most couples are already paying for their problems. Not with money, but with the arguments that ruin a weekend, the distance that creeps in, the stress that follows you to work and home to your kids. Avoiding therapy doesn’t make that cost disappear. It just puts it on a credit card. And I promise you, you’ll pay it back later, with interest.
Here’s what your money actually buys. Couples therapy, at least the way we practice it at Evergreen Counseling and Wellness, is one of the only kinds of therapy that solves problems in real time. Most self-improvement asks you to think about your problems and talk about them. We do something different. We bring the problem into the room while your partner is sitting right next to you, and we help you work it out then and there. You don’t just leave with new skills. You leave having actually solved something.
Your relationship is worth investing in. If cost is what’s holding you back, take a look at our rates and insurance. A free consultation costs nothing more than a phone call.
What happens if couples counseling doesn’t work?
Unfortunately, couples counseling can't save every marriage and every relationship, but that doesn’t mean that couples counseling doesn’t work.
Couples counseling is designed to help you understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship better, even if your partner isn’t ready to complete that journey with you.
Regardless of whether you decide to stay in your marriage or enter a new chapter in your life, couples counseling will give you tools and skills that will last a lifetime. It can also help you feel more confident and at peace with whatever comes next in your relationship and your life. And if you’re genuinely torn about whether to stay or go, discernment counseling is built for exactly that moment.
How to choose a couples therapist
Before committing to couples therapy, interview your therapist. In fact, I want you to consider interviewing a handful of therapists. Don't go with the first person that you find. Take some time and make sure that they're a good fit for you, your partner, and your marriage.
Here’s my top tip. Consider your therapist's website like their resume. Your therapist's website should give you insight into their experience, their skills, and their approach, but like any resume, it's not going to tell you the whole story.
When you’re considering working with a therapist, call and ask for free consultation first.
Interested in couples counseling online or in-person in Colorado?
At Evergreen Counseling and Wellness, we offer couples therapy and marriage counseling online and in Evergreen, Colorado.
About the author
Valery Krieg, LCSW is the founder and clinical director of Evergreen Counseling and Wellness, where she helps couples stop fighting and start communicating. A Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Valery has practiced therapy for more than 20 years and spent the last 15+ specializing in couples. Her work is grounded in the Gottman Method and draws on attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy, PACT, and relational life therapy.
Read more about Valery → · Book a free 30-minute consultation →
